-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm not sure what to feel about this.
i have so many fears its hard to prioritize. maybe death should be last because i know that when i die what is there to do about it but deal, right? but maybe should it be first because what if i watch it on its way like a slow coming train? then theres intimacy which is avoided like the plague as my ugly body is a better kept secret. disappointment in others is one fear realized. failure is like death. embarrassment is basically my version of self-harm. loneliness is a personal failure which is death which is a rose is a rose is a rose. i dont know, maybe they're all just symptoms of the same disease.
4:52 am - March 30, 2009
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
