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squares.
tired and pms-y. i've been crying all day. i am fairly lonely. i keep thinking about deceased family and friends. feeling worried for the future. generally malcontent. i want to watch high-spirited french films and movies set at christmastime. i miss christmastime. the smell and the atmosphere of everything. i probably say this all the time. i'm just glad its on its way so my misery will be put out. my mom is sending me cookies. i need that terribly. comforting foods. i eat nothing but toast and tuna. the kitchen scares me. no one likes me in this house. i feel exiled. but i've exiled myself because i really have no idea what these people are thinking of me. i am in here by choice and they probably think i hate them. i don't really. i'm just too nervous. i had a good night last night, but i am ruining it by feeling so out of place with these women and missing people who have forgotten me already.
8:30 pm - October 18, 2009
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