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peanuts.
i eat so much peanut butter it makes me sick. i feel actually ailed by my peanut intake. maybe i am secretly allergic, but in the most mild way. if that is even possible. maybe it is a sympathy allergy. like a sympathy belly which a man gets for his pregnant compadre, but for a most obscene allergy. maybe i am tired. i have no business being up so late. i have no business being anything. i lay around thinking about food, de-lovely, the state of my body, my eyebrows, what i'm going to do with the rest of my life, mixtapes, books and in between all that i do a crossword puzzle so i don't feel like i'm putting my brain to waste. but my brain is a waste. it is a place where stupid thoughts go to die. or be placed here. or placed here for a few minutes before i delete everything i've written and remind myself that i should be better at this by now. but i'm not. i'm not better at anything. ever. by any time. actually, there is one thing i would be better at by now, but i have to hold it off. and by then i will be truly awesome possum at it. i can't believe 2005 was five years ago. i can't believe my face feels like it has hives. i can't believe shit.
5:02 am - March 26, 2010
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