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wildcat.
i'm always getting depressed over facebook. the internet creates all these innovative and exciting technological ways to ruin my fucking day. not really, that fucking made things way more hostile than i intended. when i use the fuck word i generally just want to seem like i've got a badass cigarette dangling lazily betwixt my lips. so whatever. why is my ex-boyfriend(who "promised" he'd never stop talking to me, then did) still my goddamn friend? i know that it's because i haven't deleted him, but what i really want to know is why i haven't! there is something in me that hates most of the other things that are inside me. logical.
i keep making weird, big decisions. i keep becoming more and more unsure of what the fuck i'm thinking whenever i make these thoughtless decisions. my whole life is a situation in which i want to call my mom and just can't. all i want is motherly compassion and i'm pretty sure that bitch is alllll out. and i am void of all emotion except contempt and distress. i need to stop letting people i have no interest in buy me drinks. the good looking ones expect too much and the average/redhaired ones are going to start expecting too much. i can't even type anymore. gawfuck.
2:20 am - May 17, 2010
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